||||Mediocre Music Blog

We caught up with lead singer Oderus Urungus of legendary heavy metal band GWAR before their sold out show at the Music Hall of Williamsburg on Sunday night.  Celebrating over 25 years together as a band, Oderus speaks his mind on the current state of band, Bernie Madoff, geometric shapes, and supercomputer Watson among other topics. Read on and get blasted by one of music’s greatest frontmen!

MMB: You guys have been around for 25 years now…

Oderus: 26!

MMB: 26 years.

Oderus: I didn’t realize that when we did a 22 year long 25th anniversary, the 26th anniversary would somehow get dragged into that.  If I had known that I would have made it three years long!

MMB: Do you like playing New York? How does GWAR view New York?

Oderus: Yeah, GWAR love playing New York. It’s the biggest cesspool of the United States, with the exception of Detroit. And I like playing Detroit.  So yes, GWAR love fucking playing in New York. We are stoked to be playing Brooklyn tonight. We haven’t played in Brooklyn since La Bors, which is like 15 fucking years ago.

[Oderus takes a phone call…]

MMB: Was that Sleazy P. Martini?

Oderus: No.

MMB: Is Sleazy P on the tour? How is Sleazy P?

Oderus: No, well he lives in Manhattan.  He has a skyscraper. It’s painted to look like it’s brick but it’s actually made out of diamonds. That’s where he runs his worldwide crack empire. A lot of people don’t know that Sleazy P. Martini invented crack cocaine and then our giant crackization plants are turning Antarctica into a giant rock. So he has a big empire to run. When you go into the porn industry, you know it’s non-stop sucking rocks and blowing cocks! I don’t blame him for not being here tonight. If I were an executive, I’d be there too!

These fuckers like Bernie Madoff! Isn’t it funny that his name was Madoff? Like “made off” with all the money? His son hung himself with his own dick! A lot of people don’t know that. My dad got fucking rich off of other people’s money, not many know that my dick is so long that I can hang myself with it! While jerking off! I’ll die to prove my point. He didn’t even make Entertainment Tonight!

MMB: [Laughter] You guys just released a new album. You have a song off the new album called “Slain of the Litany” where you talk about the characters that you have massacred…

Oderus: Yeah, we wrote a song where we list out every single person that we’ve killed on stage and then I realized there were 30 or 40 people that still weren’t on the fucking list! Don Vito for instance.

MMB: Your new album, Bloody Pit of Horror, has been out for a few months now. In this tough economy, why should anyone by your new album?

Oderus: When you support GWAR, you’re getting nothing except support for the greatest, sickest, most consistent heavy metal band in fucking history, with the exception of Motorhead.  If you can somehow get Lemmy’s warts off his face, and put them inside my dickslit, then I would shit out of my penis into the mouth of a donkey in Bolivia while Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid performed Riverdance on my scrotum, you might have an idea of how I feel right now!

MMB: [Laughter] Aside from Motorhead, who is GWAR’s greatest ally?

Oderus: Once Lemmy is your ally, you really don’t need anyone else. But obviously, Fox News is a huge fan of GWAR since I’m on the show all the time. A lot of people are like “Oderus, Fox News? What the fuck?” I’m like “Yeah, I agree” but they keep pointing cameras at me and asking me stupid questions about outer space. What am I going to say? No!? I don’t want all that free publicity!

You don’t understand…this business is about selling drugs…to children. If I can get on fucking TV or even if I can get on some kind of red neck audio visual presentation to a bunch of retarded kingergarteners in Sheboygan with a slide machine, an overhead projector that doesn’t work…that is better, than being a parking attendent in Uruguay. Don’t you think?

MMB: I do agree.

Oderus: That was the choice that was given to me and let me tell you, you get full health benefits.

MMB: You mentioned in an earlier interview that Frank Zappa was an influence in the non-metal periods of GWAR. We are also Zappa fans…

Oderus: I remember that time when Zappa did a song [The Frank Zappa song “I’m the Slime”, whose words were emblazoned across this interviewer’s t-shirt] on Saturday Night Live. Do you remember that?

MMB: Yeah!

Oderus: And he had slime oozing out from all the tv sets!

MMB: Yeah, that was amazing. And Don Pardo reading the lyrics.

Oderus: Ya that was fucking amazing. Once we released our first 8 albums or something, then we were like, let’s take it a few different directions. Ya know, what the fuck?  I think I have been so deluded on drugs that I thought I was in the Beatles! And after John Lennon died I was like, dude here’s my shot.  But as it turned out, he and Mark David Chapman did a great song together and Disco Eve covered it and anyways…I totally forgot the question! Next!

MMB: [Laughter] No worries. You were recently the Grand Marshal at the Zombie Walk in Toronto. How did come together?

Oderus: Like most ways that I get these requests to do appearances or interviews, a skywriter appeared above the Anatarctic fortress and was like,

[Oderus uses his hand as a skywriter]

Ooooooooooooo…

Dddddddddddddddd…

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

You know where we’re going with this. “Oderus! Come to Toronto and be king of the zombies!” I was like, “Fuck yeah! I’m already there. Why did you go down to Antarctica, I was already hanging out in Toronto!” So anyway, I didn’t even see any of that bullshit. But they just called me up basically. These phones are crazy! [holds up his phone].  It’s like you just punch in numbers and someone answers. I don’t even know who’s that on the other end! The pope?! I said you could be.

But anyway, it was the years of community service that we’ve given. I mean, we’ve probably zombie-fied more people than George Romero ever could.  So that’s one of the things about GWAR. When you look at GWAR and see us playing, not only do you become a zombie, you get pregnant in your eye sockets! So that’s three zombies right there!

MMB: [Laughter] In another appearance, you were at the bar Idle Hands in New York in costume, just tearing it up. Are you doing anything like that on this tour?

Oderus: YEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

But also doing it on stage. We figured it would be a lot more violent and horrible if the whole band was with me this time.  So, we thought we’d actually play music and we’ll be doing it tonight on the stage of the Williamsburg theater.

I don’t understand. Why is the Williamsburg theater in Brooklyn? I thought that Williamsburg was where Jefferson fucked all the slaves!?

MMB: [Laughter] Do you think Oderus could defeat Watson in Jeopardy?

Oderus: Oh yeah, totally! He was stupid as shit when thought a city in Canada was in Bolivia? Come on, he sucks, fuck Watson! I mean, I love Jeopardy anyway and I think I could do a pretty good Alex Trebek if I needed to. The only thing that I would do differently with Jeopardy is, I would release rabid pigs , RABID BOARS actually. And everyone would just be like “ahhhhh, rabid boars!!!” I think that would add a little bit to it.

And what is that fucking other stupid ass fucking show full of pieces of SHIT….uhhh…Survivor! If there were wild animals on the island that were fucking eating their genitals…if it were Monkey Island, like “Monkeys-eat-your-genitals-and-tear-your-husband’s-face-off-Island.”  Then they’d be wanting to get off the island! I would totally change that around.  Like “Please let me out of here! Put my fire out! Monkeys ate my dad’s dick!” And that’s way better then having me do it, like I have my whole life because my dad raped my mouth. Not me, I mean other people.

MMB: [more laughter] Aside from GWAR, what is humanity’s greatness threat?

Oderus: [Oderus ponders for a few seconds.] Circularism. The planet is round. If it was square it would fit into things better. Outer space is made up of boxes.  I don’t know if you’ve noticed that or not.

MMB: Boxes?

Oderus: Round planets are out. We are the last universe that has got ‘em. Everywhere else: rhomboids, squares, trapezoids. Circles are done! Nikola Tesla knew that. That’s why he put a bullet through his head. Yeah, we need a square planet. Things wouldn’t roll around so much.

MMB: Of course, GWAR is …what is it? 46 billion years old?

Oderus: 47…in dog years.

MMB: And the universe, people say is around 14 billion years old.

Oderus: Right, we are older than the universe.

MMB: Is GWAR outside of time?

Oderus: Yes, we go backwards and forwards and sideways at the same time! Haha, time! [laughs]. Time doesn’t even work for me anymore.  I’ve already lived through puberty and done it backwards. That is quite an amazing feeling when you discover masturbation and semen is going back into your dick rather than coming out of it! A reverse orgasm. Better than shitting!

MMB: So what’s the craziest thing that’s ever happened in the history of the universe?

Oderus: Us fucking the apes and creating the human race.  That fucked everything up. Everything was going fine until then.

Oh and also, Das Racist got famous.  [MMB laughs] They did! I did an interview with them a year ago and they were trying to sell me weed. Now they have a dolphin filled jacuzzi on the top of Texas Stadium!

MMB: You guys have done a lot of film work. Are the plans for future GWAR films?

Oderus: Nobody has had the balls to do a GWAR movie. Rob Zombie is still busy copying everyone else in the world. I guess the new catchphrase for Hollywood is, when you go into these meetings like, “I’ve got a great new idea,” BOOM! Trap door opens and you go to hell! If you go into the meeting and say I’ve got something derivative, plagiaristic and terrible…GIVE THAT MAN 5 MILLION DOLLARS!

Rob Zombie is like….YEAHHHH. Can I have my slutty wife in it? YEAHHHHH. Does she get to blow your guys? YEAHHHH.

MMB: So what is your plan beyond this? Are you going to keep making heavy metal albums?

Oderus: At this point, getting a job at McDonald’s is out of the question.  Yes, we have been touring basically for two years straight pumping the GWAR shit and we have really taken GWAR to a lot of places that we never really thought before, that we never really could.

So every time we think we are about to leave the planet and go back to outer space and open up basically a giant, butt, hole, square planet where spaceships….go in and out and in and out all day…and you charge them for it! We are going to stay here and fucking be a heavy metal band because, quite frankly, I get my dick sucked a hell of a lot! It’s not my dick that’s getting sucked, it’s more like the dick-like warts that grow on my dick. My dick has warts that are bigger than most people’s penises!

MMB: Ok final question for GWAR: who does more crack cocaine? You or Charlie Sheen?

Oderus: First of all, me. But second of all, Charlie Sheen does a lot of fucking crack cocaine. And Charlie, quit calling the Dan Patrick show! I heard that the other day. He’s been calling the dude all week and it’s HORRIBLE.  And you now what also, Dan Patrick, stop taking Charlie Sheen’s phone call. Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen should get together on the Dan Patrick show at the Rose Bowl. That’s all I got to say.

Congratulations to GWAR for 26 years of brutal heavy metal.  Don’t miss their their latest tour and also check out their latest album Bloody Pit of Horror.